Expectations
I've been struggling lately with expectations. Not so much expectations others have of me, but those I have of others.
I struggle with how high to place those expectations. I struggle with having any expectations of others at all. I know that just having expectations sets you up for disappointment because the only One who will never disappoint is our Heavenly Father.
I know that we have to set the bar high for our children - unless there is some extenuating circumstance - because, generally, they'll will perform up to, but not above, those expectations.
Recently, I just can't get past the rejection I feel when people choose to attend another church. It's a free country, I know that. And believe me, I know that no church is Utopia. We've had our fair share (maybe MORE than our fair share?) of transition in the last two years. First a choir director who had been here 16 years, then the children's pastor, then the pastor, then the youth pastor, then the choir director again. I'm ready for the revolving door to stop!!!
As you might imagine, we've had quite the exodus of congregants as these leaders have left. One of my dearest friends moved three hours away in all that, and believe it or not, that's been the easiest to handle because she had to move. Most of the others are still in town, just attending other churches. I want to stop them and ask why? I want to know how they can just leave all this behind. I want to know how they think it will effect relationships they've made.
I've never been a church hopper. I've never been one to "worship the man" as my mother-in-law would say. Isn't church about worshiping the Lord? Isn't "being fed" supposed to be our own responsibility, not the pastor's? I thought church was where we had fellowship with other believers.
Pray for our church...and me.
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7 comments:
I think that you are right - it is each of our responsibilities to worship and seek the Lord. A local assembly should be an extension of that. It is in that context that we encourage, exhort, have communion and use our gifts. Therefore, I believe we should never leave an assembly where we have accountability and where we are able to be in unity of spirit, unless we have clear leading of the Lord to do so. Unfortunately, many people do not see how important it is to get "plugged in" and persevere. But also know that sometimes it is the breaking up of the familiar that gets us closer to Him.
That's my two cents, which is not worth much, but I will pray!
I know all too well how painful it is to have all of your familiarity within your body of believers change. And it is heartbreaking.
You become so close to your church family and when those cords are broken, it really hurts.
I am lifting you and your church up.
I haven't been a church hopper either. I can't understand it. I can't quit my immediate family and I can't quit my church family (if I can help it)
That doesn't mean I haven't had thoughts that if I leave I might find the "perfect" church that will be exactly what I want out of church. Then I remember that it's not all about what I want out of church but to worship HIM.
Plus, every church has their problems.
When we get HOME...there we will all worship together without all the differences.
By the way, I just LOVE your Mother-in-law! She's so smart. ;-)
I could be wrong here but seems to me your expectations are based on what would be in line with scripture. We really are to commit to a body and work within that body to glorify Christ in the best way we know how. I think I've heard our pastor say that really the only "good" reason to leave a church is because of false teaching. Not because you do or don't like the music or because you don't like the leadership or because the other church has a better playground/worship center/gym for the kids.
There's no perfect church here on earth. Someone said if you find the perfect church you better leave before you mess it up. :-)
So sorry this is happening. It is very hurtful.
I will be praying for you! A lot of people in church are NOT even there for the right reasons--it becomes all about them, their kids, comfort, etc. instead of about worshipping HIM, being sharpened by the Word, and hearing TRUTH no matter how uncomfortable it sometimes can be---families have problems but need to hang in there and work them out!
Girl, I so appreciate the aunthenticity of your blog. I know that when you keep seeking...He keeps talking. When we felt the leading to leave....it was hard. We still feel like wanderers...but we know one thing for sure - and that God's plan is not our own. This is what God keeps reminding me of when I long for the past;
Isaiah 43:18-19 Forget the former things do not dwell on the past, See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland"
Sometimes we are called to stay and re-create on old ground...and I feel some of us are sometimes call to go and begin something totally new with what we've learned and experienced from the old. Either can be hard and pushes us to learn to trust Him more than ever.
It's a good thing...that In Him we are woven together so much so that location...and place of worship cannot break!
I am praying for Metro and my boys still go to Metro Youth Group. That is their home church. Though they are going to be a part of where we are going - their home church will be Metro. Never thought that I would say my kids go to a different church...but I've realized lately...its just not all about me. Keep blogging! I love reading your posts!!!
It does hurt when you look around you and you realize that your Church body has changed and it is no longer the same Church body that you used to love. Be careful that you keep your mind open to where The Lord would have you. The people are the Church, not the Pastor or the music minister or the worship leader. If the people that use to make up the body that you were called too, are gone then perhaps your loyality is misplaced, in remaining. I don't know,just some thoughts to chew on.
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